Ten Tips for POTS {parents of twins}

Ten Tips for POTS {parents of twins}

The day is finally here when you make your appointment to confirm your pregnancy. Depending on your particular situation, you either have another follow up visit because your HCG levels are a bit higher than a normal singleton pregnancy or you simply have a normal visit and you learn you are not having one baby but TWO. Imagine the surprise when you digest the fact that you will be planning to have almost two of everything.

Guess what? You are not alone in your journey. My hubby and I have not been on the journey long, but have learned so much in the past nine months. While this is a very exciting time, it can also be a little overwhelming, particularly if this is your first pregnancy. I have a few tips that I hope will help during the preparation process.

Before I my tips, I must share the first items we purchased for sweet babies. As soon as we heard we were having boy/girl twins we were stoked (how much better does it get) and went got them these cute items.

twingift

Ten Tips

Go easy on yourself. We can sometimes put so much undue pressure on ourselves during pregnancy and some of this pressure is not helpful for mom or baby. Even after the pregnancy, some of our expectations (vaginal birth, breast feeding) may not happen as we anticipate. Do not beat yourself up. Breathe, relax and remember the bigger picture is a happy, healthy baby.

Remember to communicate with your significant other. In the hustle of preparing bottles, cleaning, changing diapers and the like, effective communication can go out of the window. Let’s not even mention “mommy brain” that sneaks upon you. You mentally think you have clearly articulated when you come to find that you only had that convo in your brain, with yourself. In short, don’t forget to engage in regular conversation with your mate.

Make time every day to spend quality time with both babies. I realize that you can easily lose track of time, especially in the beginning. However, I encourage you to build relationships with your babies either during feeding times or in between nap times if one wakes before the other. Not sure how you feel about creating a schedule, but it proved beneficial for me and helped me be able to carve out individual time for each of my sweet babies.

Ask for help and accept the help. I typically do not ask for help (I’m certain my hubby would disagree) but I definitely heeded this piece of advice especially in the beginning. If you need an extra hand, please do not hesitate to ask. When close family and or friends offer to assist, happily accept. If it is nothing more than someone sitting with you and helping to change diapers or to rock a baby to sleep. Trust when I tell you that it is definitely worth the ask (it’s the small things that bring you joy).

Experiment with your techniques. Even if you have identical twins, your bundles of joy will still have different personalities and preferences. This is particularly true if you are breastfeeding. My preference was to feed at the same time and I would use the football hold. However, if I was feeding individually, one baby would prefer cradle position while the other enjoyed football hold. Our daughter in the beginning had tummy woes and as such we had our fair share of trial and error methods of soothing her. Jump right in full feet ahead and do not be afraid to use variation with your techniques.

Seek other parents of multiples. Fortunately, we have several twin mommies in our proximity. There are two twin mommies who actually live in our neighborhood.  We have learned so much from both parents and their experiences are quite insightful. They also helped to connect us to other resources or local groups that focused on parents with multiples. See below for resources.

Read as much as you can. I realize that there is so much information on the Web and books about parenting twins or multiples. What I found helpful were forums or sites where parents discussed different tactics they used. Of course all of the information I read was not relevant or applicable, but I was able to glean from the literature and employ some of the tactics.

Temper unsolicited advice. Everyone will have some words of wisdom for you, what to do/not to do, products to use etc. While much of what is stated may be of help, it may not be applicable for your situation. Having a singleton is very different from having twins. Even if you had a singleton pregnancy before your twin pregnancy, you will find that your experiences may be slightly different. I recall so many people telling me how rough the late nights/early mornings were for their babies. We did not experience this at all. In fact, our babies have slept through the night since they were two weeks of age. The most helpful pieces of advice I received actually came from parents of multiples (they have already been through the process) and even some of there suggestions did not apply. With that being stated, smile, nod and be appreciative of the helpful suggestions but know that one-size doesn’t fit all.

Embrace their “Twindividuality”. I love that fact that I have two completely different babies. Many people have told me that they don’t even look like twins. One baby is completely cool, calm and collected while the other is a very busy beaver. Instead of trying to compare their developmental milestones, I simply celebrate that they are two different babies with two unique personalities and abilities. Resist the urge to compare/contrast these items and know that your babies may develop and grow at different intervals.

Capture the moment. Keep your cameras handy. Your twins will captivate your mind by their interactions with each other and with others. There is never a dull moment with twins and you would not want to miss the opportunity to capture a special memory. Some memories can’t be caught on camera and so we etch them into our brains for future “I remember when” stories. Enjoy the time you have with them because in a blink of an eye they will be grown and gone.

Resources

http://www.nomotc.org

http://twiniversity.com

http://www.circleofmoms.com/top25/multiples

http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/family/parenting_multiples.html



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