Say this not that: Tips to avoid awkward moments with expectant mothers.
If you have ever been pregnant, you have probably heard your fair share of rude comments. No, not rude, just plain ignorant. Let’s be real, it feels like people lose all of their common sense when they encounter pregnant women. I think that it hurts worse from people who have already birthed children. In your mind you are thinking, you have already been through this process, so why say these things? Your hormones are already at the highest level, why add to the current emotional roller coaster?
I will be the first to say, that I did not appreciate the majority of the comments that I heard during my pregnancy. To make matters worse, it took awhile for us to conceive and we had already experienced loss, so my main focus was on maintaining a healthy pregnancy. I understand, I am barely 5ft tall and was pregnant with twins but that still NOT did give people permission to utter the monstrosities that emerged from their lips. If you so happen to be one of those unscathed victims, who has never been insulted while pregnant, consider it a blessing to your ears! However, if you are like me, you’ve heard it all! Just enough to make you furious about the lack of tact and curious of how people could form their lips to say such to a pregnant woman.
Hopefully, this post will not only provide helpful alternatives but also provide a glimpse into what the mother may be thinking but not saying.
Here are just a few examples of things my friends and I have heard during our pregnancies, what we were thinking and what we wished we had heard.
Offender says: Oh my word! You are as big as a house!
Mom thinks: Really, have you seen my house? There is no way humanly possible that I could be the same square footage around as my dwelling. Really?!
Try this instead: Wow, you are really coming along. I hope that you continue to have a healthy pregnancy.
Offender says: Are you having twins?
Mom of a singleton thinks: I already know that I am huge!
Mom of multiples thinks: obviously.
Try this instead: How’s your pregnancy going to so far? How far along are you? Please let me know if there is anything I can do to assist you!
Offender says: Your nose is so big, I didn’t recognize you.
Mom thinks: I know my nose may have spread some, but I am still the same person. What are you really trying to say?!
Try this instead: I am extremely happy for you and am hoping for a healthy pregnancy.
The take away is simply this, if you can’t say something nice, then don’t say nothing at all! Thumper’s (from the classic Disney movie, Bambi) mom taught him well!
It is simple. Be considerate of others and their feelings. Think before you speak. Most importantly, pay attention to non-verbals because these action say more than can be communicated verbally. In a single second, you make the decision to tear down or build up. Make great decisions. Please remember, these women are bringing new life into the world. There is enough negativity as is. The last thing one wants to hear is something belittling due to body changes.
Let’s be kind and spread positivity!
What are some rude comments that you have heard and how did you respond? Leave your comments below.