Coping with loss, again

Coping with loss, again

This is part two of my “Coping with Loss” post. I hope that you are able to find peace and comfort from these posts!

After the loss, we didn’t try any other aggressive measures for six months. By this time (2013), I had once again changed OB’s and went with someone who was more familiar with PCOS and how to help me conceive. She immediately put me on Metformin to help regulate my hormones. I took it for a month and then the next month my husband told me to take a pregnancy test. He was convinced I was pregnant for whatever reason. So I listened, took the test and guess what? I was pregnant!!!

We went to the OB to confirm and we received news that we indeed had conceived but my HCG numbers were low. She told me to come back in a couple of days to see if my numbers had doubled. She told me that it may be early and the reason why the numbers weren’t doubling. I went back for my check up eager to hear my results of the growing baby in my belly only to learn that my numbers were decreasing. She told me that I would likely miscarry.

Sure enough, two days later the bleeding began. Again. Another heartbreak. While I waited for the bleeding to subside, I tried to remain positive and hopeful. At least, we knew we could get pregnant, I told myself. After a couple of days, the bleeding finally stopped but I still felt pregnant. I was told to come back in for more blood work. Guess what?! I was told that I was still pregnant. My sorrow was then turned to JOY!

It was perfect timing because it was a few days before our five year anniversary. My hubby planned a trip for us to go out of town just to relax! My OB told us to come in before we left just so she could check my levels again just to make sure things were okay.

The day of our five year wedding anniversary, we packed up our vehicle for our trip and made a trip to the OB before we headed out of town. The OB said she would request that the blood test to be ordered as STAT and that I would have the results the same day. Off we went on our journey excited about things to come.

The phone rings and with excitement I say, are my numbers still going up? I hear a pause, the nurse says no, I’m sorry they are not. My first response was, “What again? What happened? Was I pregnant with twins lost one the week before and then lost one now?” Her response, “Well maybe. We aren’t quite sure.” In one phone call, I learned and lost.

We still went on our trip had a great time and decided that we would try again the next month. This time we were advised to see a reproductive endocrinologist. We made our visit about 15 days after our loss and soon after started on our journey again. I was still taking Metformin and my treatment required that I also take Clomid. Here we go again with this same medicine. I was assured that this round would be different because my hormones were being managed by the Metformin.

I started on my treatment and we conceived again. This time was different. My numbers were rising. But they were tripling instead of doubling. I didn’t think much of it until the nurse said, are you having twins? I adamantly replied, NO! I went back to the reproductive endocrinologist because I started bleeding once again. I was told it was likely implantation bleeding. To be sure, I had an ultrasound. And guess what they found? TWO sacs. Wait, what? Did you say two? I figured that one would dissolve because I recalled seeing two eggs in a previous appointment but we were told it would dissolve.

Well, I can attest, the second egg never dissolved. I carried two healthy babies in my belly and am the proud mother of boy and girl twins! I had gone through joy and loss and God gave us a double blessing. We couldn’t ask for more! Literally two for the price of one (pregnancy).

We just celebrated our nine-year wedding anniversary and had the opportunity to have a date night with our now three-year-old bubbly babies or shall I say threenagers! The journey was long but worth the wait. Conception is possible with PCOS. Have faith that conception is possible.

*My babies were due on February 14, 2014, but came a bit early on January 20, 2014.

With love,


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